So....

Hi, I'm home from the hospital. I had 5-6 hours of surgery on Tuesday August 11th and I was home by dinner on Thursday August 13th. My doctors thought I was doing great and that pain management was the main objective (next to watching for infection) and they said that I didn't need to be around sick people anymore so they let me go. I have to say that the pain has been difficult. It can be managed with dilaudid and valium until I try to skip a dose. Just in the past few days I've been able to stretch out the timing on my pain meds. I guess it will just take time. I can't compare to last time because they were two very different surgeries.

Colleen, Susan, MaryLou, and Colleen's mother, Carolann, all coordinated schedules so that they could take care of me (there are certain things that I cannot do alone) and make sure that I was not alone for the first couple weeks. That was no small task considering that people have to work, Rebecca was moving into college and Susan was getting ready for a trip out west to see her brother George, etc. Olivia was also a big help, and the visits from Kara, Ashley and Casey, complete with Wawa chocolate milkshakes and Rita's Swedish Fish water ice, certainly kept me laughing (Thank you for that additional pain...)

I know I heal well, I'm just not feeling well at this point. I have seen Dr. Gottlieb weekly and apparently that is the way it is going to be for awhile. He is happy with the surgery and the way I am healing. Colleen took out my three pain pumps by the end of the first week, and Dr. Gottlieb took out all four drains shortly after. There was a little fluid buildup on my back and Dr. Gottlieb aspirated that in his office. I am taking lots (to me) of meds and vitamins, and I was given an antibiotic for a week before we will attempt the first expansion....yippee....

I was able to see Becca's dorm, watch Phineas and Ferb with Olivia (by the way, for those of you who are familiar with this cartoon, the one with the triangle head looks like he is trying to get out of my back...), and keep myself occupied with Facebook. Reading isn't an option right now because I can't concentrate yet.

That's the good news. And then we got the the results of the pathology report. It was positive for cancer. That was a surprise. Dr. Simmons called to tell me the news and said that she waited 2 hours to call me because she not only spoke to the pathologist, my oncologist Dr. Kennedy, and Dr. Gottlieb, but she also had to take some time to compose herself because this was just not what any of us were expecting. It meant alot to me to know that it was difficult for her too. I have the best team.

I don't really know what this means in terms of treatment, prognosis, or recurrence statistics but I am very grateful that I chose to go with the other mastectomy "as a precaution". This is a scary time. I thought I was turning the corner...you know, mastectomy, reconstruction, Tamoxifen, Femara, maybe back to work, apppointments and scans every three months or so...and then this. Another reminder that I have no control over the cancer or any of this. I would be lying if I said that I haven't thought of the worst case scenarios, but I also know that my doctors will do their very best to help me heal. Dr. Kennedy called the other day and told me that when they have all the information they need, we will have a team meeting to discuss options. I will let you know when we do.

Until then, keep praying and I will continue to pray for you.