Sue and the Blustery Day

Today is a "blustery" day. Large branches are down in the yard along with the patio furniture and our white Christmas tree with the multicolored lights that our neighbor has petitioned for us to leave up until St. Patrick's Day each year. (She says that she loves to look out her window and see it). The cover for our grill has blown away and I doubt we will ever see it again. All this being said, I am looking forward to Spring. The warmer weather this week has encouraged me. There will be an end to winter.

But not just yet. I saw Dr. Kennedy on Tuesday, February 10th. Dan was there and accessed my port easily...now if only it would be that easy when I go for chemo next week...We went over my old and new side effects and then she was concerned about my heart rate - which was a little fast. (120) After I walked around the office for awhile it was 118. Even so, Dr. Kennedy was not happy and decided that I need to have another mugascan (my third) before she can decide what she will do in terms of my next chemo. The adriamyacin is cardiac toxic and she wants to be cautious. If the scan is fine we will go ahead with chemo as scheduled for Thursday February 19th at 8am. If not she will consider something else.

Soon I will be moving to radiation. But I am not going there just yet. If I have learned anything it is to stay in the moment. Easier said than done. I am more tired than anything else. We stopped at the mall the other night and I would lock my sights on the next bench and just try to make it there. I didn't have trouble breathing, it was mostly the fatigue. It was draining to keep putting one foot in front of the other and after awhile my legs felt like "rubber band legs". But I did it. The other "new" thing this cycle was that the heels of my feet turned bright red and were sore. Dr. Kennedy looked at them and thinks that it's from the taxatere. GI symptoms, neuropathy of hands and feet, status quo. As my mother would say, "Do you have any other happy news to tell us?"

Keep sending your suggestions for funny movies - they've been great! I have a long way to go and right now, unfortunately, it seems that I am struggling with many issues, so please keep me in your prayers... Later...

It's Still Winter...

I can't believe that it is February already! I can't believe that the ground hog saw his shadow indicating 6 more weeks of winter (although when you take him out of his hole and put him in a cage in the sun I'm thinking he's going to see a shadow...). So, I'm having a little difficulty thinking clearly - it seems to take a lot of energy to think about what I want to say or even to follow a conversation sometimes. I will try to be as coherent as possible.

On Tuesday, January 20th, I went to see Dr. Kennedy and was surprised and happy to see Dan, my chemo nurse. He and a few others from Torresdale rotate to this office on Tuesdays. He drew blood from my port for more tests including a second liver panel. When I saw Dr. Kennedy she said that my liver function numbers were good. I am moving through this pretty well as far as I'm concerned. The prednisone was decreased to 10mg for a few days to be further decreased to 5mg by the time I am ready to have the next chemo. She cleared me for Thursday, January 29th at 8am. (Kenny's birthday...).

On chemo days we've fallen into a routine...Col and I eat, I take meds and we leave for the hospital. I sign in, we wait to be called into the lab where I am weighed (yuk - especially with all that prednisone - yuk) and then go into the chemo room, sign in, leave the blood tubes and take MY seat around back in Dan's section. When Susan gets to the hospital she checks in with her department and then stops by. Later at her next break she'll come by again and sometimes bring me a hot chocolate. Col stays with me as we pray that the port can be accessed easily, that the bloodwork results give a green light for the treatment, and for the next 5 hours we banter with the nurses, eat pretzels ( Thursday - Pretzel Day), talk, use guided imagery, etc. At some point, after the benedryl is infused, I get sleepy and Col gives me a blanket and her zune (MP3) and I go off to sleep for awhile and she gets to read or do some work. I am usually awake enough to participate in any conversations that are going on around me and I rarely miss an opportunity to throw in a witty remark. I like to be awake and watch Dan push the Adriamyacin and then I am usually set to go. I have my next appointment card in hand and we stop at the desk on the way out with our co-pay check all written out. Occasionally we will stop for something to eat but most times we'll head home and I will sleep on and off for the afternoon.

I've been thinking about what I've been doing to help myself heal and I realize that I've been pretty creative. One of the things that stands out that I'd like a little help with is laughter. I don't watch a lot of TV, but I do watch Raymond and Friends after 11. Sometimes Frazier. So my request is that you send me (blog, e-mail if you can't blog for some reason) the names of your favorite movies that will make me laugh. I realize that narrowing it down will be difficult since I laugh at just about anything, but try. And I know, for some of you that it will be tempting to suggest The English Patient, but please don't since I will never watch that movie again...

Talk to you soon...I'm able to think again...