Breast Cancer Awareness Month (and my PET scan)

The irony is not lost on me that I had my PET scan and will be launched into the treatment phase of this journey just as we are entering Breast Cancer Awareness month. You can't miss it. I went food shopping the other day and got breast cancer paper towels. The Progresso Soup labels have a pink border, and just about every product is somehow involved. They are all contributing a portion of their proceeds to this cause. What a great concept. If you walk into a department store you will see Breast Cancer apparel. The attention to this particular disease is not new this year but I am seeing it and reacting to it a bit differently. Because now I am living it. It has always been a cause near and dear to my heart that I have supported - after all, my mother has been a breast cancer survivor since I was 10 and so many friends and family have been affected by it. But now I am living it. It is an odd place to sit. You have heard me joke about getting a pink wardrobe, but there is something powerful about being part of a group of extraordinarily strong women. I am at the very beginning of my road. I can't imagine the experiences that lie ahead but they will change and shape my life. I suspect that they will strengthen the connection with all women who have been told at one time or another, "You have breast cancer." But I want to remember this, I want to remember that I don't have to be "living" something in order to have real empathy. I thought I was pretty empathic and in fairness to me, I am - but I didn't always pay attention to the day in and day out "little things" that are not often spoken about when I have had conversations with folks who are dealing with catastrophic illness. We would talk about the "big" things mainly, so I didn't really have the whole picture. So the learning is beginning for me. I hope to do some writing other than this blog that I can reflect on and use and perhaps even share with others. I am just glad that it is not Irritable Bowel Awareness month because wearing a T-Shirt or eating food labled "irritable bowel awareness" would just be awkward...

And now, where were we...the PET scan...I had to eat high protein and low carb the day before the test which is not that difficult to do except that if I have restrictions placed on me I need to rebel. I really wanted ice cream. But I am a compliant patient...chicken and water...I had the scan done at Frankford-Torresdale in a trailer that drives onto the parking lot every Wednesday and every other Thursday. They were ready for me as soon as I got there and had to check my blood sugar with a finger stick. It was fine so they went on to the adventure of finding a vein to inject the radio active substance into. I will spare you the details of that process...can't use the port for this...argh. Then I had to be still and quiet in a darkened space in a lounge chair for 45 minutes (all the comforts of home...)When it was time they made me go to the bathroom to empty my bladder (of radio active urine) and then lie on a table. Since both of my arms are not able to go over my head to the extent that they wanted (like the double jointed contortionist in the circus), they strapped my arms to my side and told me that I could breathe throughout the test(good news) but I couldn't move(not so good news). The test was going to scan first and then scan 6-7 sections incrementally for 6 minute intervals each. Just for sport I thought about what it would be like if I had an itch somewhere and then I thought that that was probably not a good idea so I concentrated on my physical, emotional, and spiritual feelings, which usually in these situations have been feelings of being surrounded and held by God - seriously. The thing I liked was that when we started, the tech Mark (who is in another room) said,"Can you hear me?" I said, "Yes." And then he said, "Good, I can hear you too in case we need to talk to each other." And then I didn't hear another word from him until the scan was done. Usually the techs are so chatty - "You're doing great", "How are you doing, Susan", "Only 3 more to go", "last one", etc. Comforting at times, but breaks into my prayer time. When I was done, they burned a CD of the scan for me and that was that. The scan is in the computer system for Dr. Kennedy to see at any time but I am sure she will wait to hear the radiologists reading before she gives me the results.

After we said good-bye to Sue, who was still at the hospital with patients, we went to take a picture of the giant mushroom to upload to this blog...it really is a "must see". Unfortunately, due to the rain (and Sue S kicking it over) it is no longer white. It is a brownish slimy thing but hopefully, you'll get the picture. Then we went to Dairy Queen for the last time this season. As a matter of fact, they put out their "Closed for the Season" sign right after we got our order...endings and beginnings...

Well it is an absolutely gorgeous day today so I am going to try to get out and enjoy it. I will write more as the spirit moves me and let you know the PET scan results and when chemo will start. Thanks for listening...thanks for everything...