Introducing the Uniboober

Hi! I'm back! Interesting detour...We had a great weekend at Colleen's folks - great food, great company and Susan learned to paint strawberries, ladybugs and snowman faces. I lounged at the pool and even went for a boat ride (thanks John). Monday night I had to stop eating and drinking by midnight. Usually if you tell me I can't do something I want to do it all the more but I was prepping for surgery. Butter Pecan ice cream was my "last supper" at 10:30 pm...we won't mention the goodies we took home from Sharon and Tim's. I read and listened to all your well wishes. Know how much they make a difference. Before this I knew that they were a nice thing to do but I didn't realize just what an impact they have. And thank you Mauri and Lorraine for the beautiful song (to the tune of Bye Bye Blackbird...well you get the picture...) Tuesday we were up bright and early and in Frankford by 8am. The surgery was scheduled for 10:15am but I wasn't taken in to the OR until almost 1. The waiting was hard. Once I got there I just wanted it to be over and on the way to recovery. Everyone was really lovely but the anesthesiologist could not wrap his mind around how I could not possibly be pregnant. He wanted a urine specimen even after I told him that I was gay. He said that, "Women can get pregnant till they're 60 years old and it was not an unreasonable request"...I told him that by "gay" I didn't mean happy (necessarily, but of course I am happy...maybe not on that day but usually....) He had a Russian accent and I was thinking that maybe something got lost in the translation. He remained stern but I didn't give a urine...Then he couldn't find a vein to start an IV and began sweating. They opted to bring me in to the OR without one and put a gas mask on my face and get one there. He got to push the stretcher with the Nurse Anesthetist and was explaining to her all the while that it wasn't his fault - that it was just my veins. Perhaps true, I was a little dehydrated, but it interfered with my loving thoughts and positive imagery that I was trying to bring with me into the surgery. After he bumped the stretcher for the second time in the doorway to the OR I looked at the nurse and said, "It isn't his gift." She started laughing and he walked away in a huff. I went to sleep knowing that this was the person who was going to wake me up after all was said and done...maybe I shouldn't have been so hard on him...

I woke up in the recovery room somewhere around 3 o'clock (there was a clock on the wall) And by 5-5:30pm I was in my room. I had a foley catheter, nasal cannula, IV, two drains and a pain pump. And truthfully, I felt better than I expected. I asked for some morphine (they told me to stay ahead of the pain) and I felt great. That was the last pain medication I needed - the pump really did its job. Susan and Colleen were great and learned how to empty my drains (although I think Susan already knew having gone to nursing school and all) By 10:30pm I was asleep and slept well for a few hours at a time, just waking up for vitals. The nurses and CNAs were amazing. They were upbeat and responded well to my humor. Now I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think I'm living in denial - I had my prayer time and my healing meditations and my ongoing grieving for the loss of something near and dear to my heart, but those of you reading this know that humor is my hallmark. When my cousin Joey had a kidney removed due to cancer I brought him a can of kidney beans. That broke the tension and allowed us to really talk. Now back to my story.

Wednesday morning I knew I was going to be able to talk my surgeon into letting me out early to go to Sue's Nursing School Graduation. By 6am Angela (great nurse) had pulled everything out except the pain pump and drains. I was beginning to feel like myself again. Sue was with me before graduation practice and Colleen was there to see the reaction on Dr. Simmon's face. I was the healthiest-looking cancer patient she had ever seen (in part due to the lovely tan I got this weekend). I had done everything on the list I needed to do before they would consider discharge - I peed on my own and I ate something solid (if you consider a pancake solid). I was home before lunch -less than 24 hours after surgery. It is amazing to me since I remember my mother's surgeries requiring a much lengthier stay. I'm going to post this and then continue my story.